Barbara and Phil's Story
Phil was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer and was cared for by our Hospice Nurse Specialist team before being admitted to our Inpatient Unit in February 2023. After returning home, he continued to receive care from the team until he sadly passed away in October 2023. His wife of 60 years, Barbara, and his daughter, Sue, tell his story.
A pleasant surprise
Phil didn’t want to go to the hospice at first and feared the change. Barbara credits Andrea from the Hospice Nurse Specialist team for playing a big role in easing his concerns.
Barbara said,
“Andrea came, and he was on lots of tablets. She said it was too much, so she asked Phil if he would like to come into the hospice for a few days and he started crying.
I assured him that it wasn’t the end, and that Andrea wouldn’t do that to him. It was just to sort his medication out. He argued that his fear was that he wouldn’t come home. However, when he got admitted to the hospice, he wanted to stay and said the steak pie was absolutely wonderful!
He thanked Andrea for putting him into the hospice because he thought it would be a dark place with people sat around crying, but it was so different. He couldn’t believe how lovely everyone was. He also said if he had to go in again then he would.”
Determination
Phil had many goals that he wanted to reach whilst he was receiving end of life care.
Barbara said,
“The thing that kept him going was to see his granddaughter have her baby. He was born on Valentines Day, 2023. His next goal was for our other granddaughter to get her GCSES and she came flying in saying she passed 9 subjects!
He then asked whether he would make it to his birthday on 28th September 2023, and he did! He never once complained, even though he was in so much pain.”
It takes a village
On her dad’s time at the hospice, Sue said,
“Everyone who came in would ask what he wanted for his breakfast and lunch, and then they’d stay and have a little chat.”
Barbara added,
“All of the staff were so nice and helpful on the ward, and we could have anything and everything we wanted. Nothing was any trouble. As far as the hospice goes, all the staff we met were absolutely wonderful.
I couldn’t have done it without Andrea. I knew that any question I had would be answered honestly. It was a wonderful experience. It is a sad place but when you see the love and care they give to your loved ones, there’s no amount of praise that you can give them that will be enough. Even the tea ladies on the Inpatient Unit were wonderful.
He was such a gentle person my Phil, who never demanded anything from anybody.”
Giving back
Sue said,
“All we asked for were donations at dad’s funeral. My workplace kindly matched the donations and were able to give the hospice a total of over £2,000.
I’ve already said to my mum, if I ever come into any money, I would donate it to the hospice. When you’re going through a time where you need the hospice, you don’t have much time to think about the donations that are needed to keep the place open.
But now we know, we want to do everything we can to help.”
Sue and Barbara want to thank everyone who helped them on this journey of caring for Phil. They add it wasn’t a journey they wanted to take, but it was made so much easier thanks to Andrea and the Hospice team.
Published April 2025